Lovely // DRAFT - FEEDBACK VERSION
Main improvement feedback given to my original version:
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RESULT OF FEEDBACK:
I got a lot of great critical feedback and praises on my draft version however, the improvement part is the reason it is a draft. I decided instead of changing the areas for specific shots, I would create a new narration which would have a more clear narration and a topic which most people could relate to. I looked through a lot of music videos however, the main one I took into consideration due to the range of shots and how powerful the shots were was DDD by Ama Lou.
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improved music video:
For my improvement, I decided to change the narration of the video a bit so I could show the emotions I originally wanted to portray more clearly. Here is my updated narration:
Updated Narration:
First we see Alex alone and I’ll capture shots of her happy in the park alone to show that she doesn’t need anyone to be happy but then and we see Rishika and Roshni together without her. I’ll get shots of Alex feeling a bit more alone since she noticed them and then going to lay on the grass with a close up shot. Then, I will use a dream affect which will end up with her dreaming of being friends with Roshni and Rishika and they have a good time till the dream is over. When she does wake up, she realises that it was only a 'lovely' dream but not reality.
Updated Shooting Log:
Final Outcome:
Website improvement from peer assessment:
This is feedback I got from a peer assessment which took place, I got two people to read through my blog and this was their feedback.